you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
