I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
