Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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