Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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