I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
