I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
