I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
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