The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
