I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
