Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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