Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
