We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
