But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
