I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
