Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
