Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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