here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
