He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
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Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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