I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize