I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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