it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
All the doctor said was why
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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