feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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