i wish there were pregnant emoticons
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just high enough for therapy.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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