i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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