It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
