i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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