Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
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It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
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Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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