TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
