I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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