Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
