You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
