You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
