i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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