in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
