I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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