Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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