508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize