T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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