guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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