Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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