I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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