I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
