Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
