I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
