Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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