Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
