you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
