i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My dick has a subreddit
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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