Don't you send me to vm
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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