I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
