if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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