I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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