Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
