The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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