I'm lost and stupid without you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize