capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
