I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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