Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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