i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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