Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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