It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
