Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
