just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
