Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize