Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have feelings that need drinking.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
