I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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