party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
