Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
