I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
